Man in a Restaurant: 'Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!'
Waiter: 'Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.'
A guy sits down in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog and it's sitting in the seat next to him. He thinks it's unusual, but he likes dogs so he decides that as long as it's not a distraction he won't mention it. The movie starts and pretty soon there's a…- A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come…
- A blind guy with a seeing eye dog walks into a bar. Suddenly, he starts swinging the dog around on the leash. The bartender says "SIR STOP!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!" The blind says "Oh i'm just looking around...
- A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, one of the pipes in the upstairs bathroom is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by and he comes home from work and…
