happy lady

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."
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  • Vacation in Moscow
    A couple goes on vacation to Moscow. One night they decide to take a horse and buggy sight-seeing. They get in a carriage and the driver introduces himself as Rudolf. Off they go. Unfortunately, the weather turns foul on them. "Darn. It looks like rain," the husband says. "No. Is drizzle," says…
  • Charges
    A farmer drove to a neighbour’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with Mom and Dad." The farmer stood there for a few minutes,…
  • the bull and the telegram
    A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one…
  • civic education
    Teacher explains to the children in civic education, “Every minute that I stand here talking to you, 12 people die.” Little Johnny raises his hand, “perhaps you could try some mouthwash?”