Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
A sports car is driving in Amish country. He skids on the road and crashes into a ditch. He gets out unharmed and looks at his car in dismay. A few minutes later an Amish man comes riding by in a horse and buggy. The Amish man stops and asks, "Would you like some help, English?". The man quickly…
A dying mother talks to her son on her death bed Mother: Before I die, I have to tell you something. You're ad- ado- Son: I'm adopted?! Mother: No, you're adorable Son: *sniffs* Thanks, mom Mother: That's why I chose you at the adoption center
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum…- An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a police man pulls him over. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car. He says: "Have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?" The…