Dad: Son, you know what? Back in my days, I walk in a store just with a single dollar and come home with a bag of potato chips and two chocolate bars. Now they have cameras everywhere
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?” Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!” Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?” Patrick, “What school?”- A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and ... cola." "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. "I'm not sure; I was born with them."
A blonde is at a magical staircase that’s 100 steps high. At the top of the stairs are untold riches, but in order to get to the top, you have to hear a joke from each individual stair and not laugh. If you laugh at any joke, you can’t go any higher. The jokes start off lame, but get…- A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."