Einstein was once travelling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger.
When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn’t find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn’t there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn’t find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn’t find it.
The conductor said, “Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I’m sure you bought a ticket. Don’t worry about it”.
Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.
The conductor rushed back and said, “Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don’t worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don’t need a ticket. I’m sure you bought one”.
Einstein looked at him and said, “Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don’t know is where I’m going”.
A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
Three moles live in a hole together. One day a pancake breakfast is set up around the mole hole. One of the three moles sticks his head out of the hole and says, "I smell syrup!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says, "I smell ketchup!" The third mole tries to stick his…