Iwan and his President

Putin goes undercover as a drill sergeant. Talking to a new recruit, he asks 
- Where are you from, private? 
- Sir, St. Petersburg 
- Oh, I'm from there too. Who's your father? 
- Sir, my father is President Vladimir Putin.
 - That is impossible, how can that be? 
- Sir, people always say that President Putin is father of our country. 
 Surprised but pleased, Putin tell the recruit: 
 - That actually makes sense, but really who's your mother then? 
- Sir, my mother is Russia. 
- How so? 
- Because people always say Russia is mother of all people, all ethnic, all nation.
Laughing out loud, Putin's liken the new recruit with great hope and ask him friendly. 
 - Spectacular private, what role model do you want to become? 
- I want to be an orphan, sir.
Labels:
  • Rectal Thermometer
     A doctor walks into a staff meeting with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. A nurse asks him why he has a thermometer behind his ear? The doctor grabs the thermometer, looks at it, and exclaims, “Damn, some a**hole has my pen!”
  • blind in a bar
    A blind guy with a seeing eye dog walks into a bar. Suddenly, he starts swinging the dog around on the leash. The bartender says "SIR STOP!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!" The blind says "Oh i'm just looking around...
  • after mass
    A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Fr O’Grady after mass. He says: “So what’s bothering you?” She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?” "Certainly father," she replied. “He said: “Please…
  • fancy stuff in school
    Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?” Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!” Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?” Patrick, “What school?”