Iwan and his President

Putin goes undercover as a drill sergeant. Talking to a new recruit, he asks 
- Where are you from, private? 
- Sir, St. Petersburg 
- Oh, I'm from there too. Who's your father? 
- Sir, my father is President Vladimir Putin.
 - That is impossible, how can that be? 
- Sir, people always say that President Putin is father of our country. 
 Surprised but pleased, Putin tell the recruit: 
 - That actually makes sense, but really who's your mother then? 
- Sir, my mother is Russia. 
- How so? 
- Because people always say Russia is mother of all people, all ethnic, all nation.
Laughing out loud, Putin's liken the new recruit with great hope and ask him friendly. 
 - Spectacular private, what role model do you want to become? 
- I want to be an orphan, sir.
Labels:
  • the dandruff problem
    A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem. The redhead says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?" The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"
  • happy lady
    A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your…
  • Vacation in Moscow
    A couple goes on vacation to Moscow. One night they decide to take a horse and buggy sight-seeing. They get in a carriage and the driver introduces himself as Rudolf. Off they go. Unfortunately, the weather turns foul on them. "Darn. It looks like rain," the husband says. "No. Is drizzle," says…
  • Blind Horse
    A sports car is driving in Amish country. He skids on the road and crashes into a ditch. He gets out unharmed and looks at his car in dismay. A few minutes later an Amish man comes riding by in a horse and buggy. The Amish man stops and asks, "Would you like some help, English?". The man quickly…