- Putin goes undercover as a drill sergeant. Talking to a new recruit, he asks - Where are you from, private? - Sir, St. Petersburg - Oh, I'm from there too. Who's your father? - Sir, my father is President Vladimir Putin. - That is impossible, how can that be? - Sir,…
- Man in a Restaurant: 'Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!' Waiter: 'Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.'
- During the Cold War, a foreign journalist asked a Finnish general what Finland would do if the USSR and NATO would fight a war in Finland. He replied “first we would beat out NATO, and then the Soviets”. The journalist was surprised about the order and asked why. “We are civilized people. Work…
- A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes…