- What are the 3 lies a Texan will always tell? (1) I won this belt buckle at a rodeo! (2) My pick-up is paid for! (3) I was just helping that SHEEP over the fence!
- A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I…
- Mary had a little lamb she shot it with a gun she sold it to McDonald's and now its on a bun.
- A woman asks a carpenter to fix the wardrobe in their house, because when the train is passing by the house, the wardrobe shakes and makes noise. When the carpenter arrives to the house he tells the woman: "I'll go inside the wardrobe and close the door, and when the train passes by I'll…