A farmer drove to a neighbour’s farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant!".
The boy thought for a moment, then says, "You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $50 for the bulls and $15 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."
Hi darling, i just met the postman. He told me he made love with all girls in the neighbourhood exept one. That must be our neighbour Carol, nobody anyway likes her. What?
A Doberman, a Golden Retriever and a cat died and met God. God said to them, “Tell me why I should let you into heaven.” The Doberman said, “I’ll protect you with my life.” God said, “You can sit at my right side.” The Golden Retriever said, “I will fetch your slippers and anything else you ask me…