Hi darling, i just met the postman. He told me he made love with all girls in the neighbourhood exept one.
That must be our neighbour Carol, nobody anyway likes her.
What?
A Doberman, a Golden Retriever and a cat died and met God. God said to them, “Tell me why I should let you into heaven.” The Doberman said, “I’ll protect you with my life.” God said, “You can sit at my right side.” The Golden Retriever said, “I will fetch your slippers and anything else you ask me…
An environmentalist was giving a speech and told his audience that if we continue on our present course all life on earth will be gone in 50 years. A member of the audience jumped to his feet and cried out in panic, "What? What did you say?!" The environmentalist solemnly repeated, "I said if we…- A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it.…
- A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem. The redhead says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?" The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"